Scripture
"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Ephesians 5:33, NIV)
Introduction
In the sacred covenant of marriage, God has woven a beautiful tapestry that mirrors the profound relationship between Christ and His church. The Apostle Paul's instructions in Ephesians 5 provide timeless guidance for husbands and wives, calling them to roles that foster unity, growth, and glory to God. While husbands are commanded to love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church, wives are specifically instructed to respect their husbands.
This command culminates Paul's teaching on Christian households, summarizing the mutual dynamics of love and respect. The Greek word for "respect" here is *phobeō*, often translated as "reverence" or "fear" in a positive sense—denoting deep honor, admiration, and awe. It is not about terror but a reverential attitude that acknowledges the husband's God-ordained role.
In a culture that often equates respect with earned admiration based on performance, this biblical call challenges wives to offer respect unconditionally, rooted in reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Just as the church honors Christ as Head, wives are to honor their husbands, contributing to a marriage that reflects gospel truth. This respect empowers husbands, strengthens the family, and testifies to God's design. This article delves into the biblical foundation, theological significance, and practical outworking of wives respecting their husbands.
The Biblical Foundation: Submission and Respect in Context
Ephesians 5:33 does not stand alone but flows from the broader passage on marital roles (Ephesians 5:22-33). Paul begins with mutual submission among believers "out of reverence for Christ" (Ephesians 5:21), then applies it specifically: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22).
Submission ( hupotassō ) means voluntarily placing oneself under another's authority, mirroring the church's submission to Christ. It is not inferiority—wives and husbands are equal in Christ (Galatians 3:28)—but a functional order for harmony. Verses 23-24 explain: the husband is the head as Christ is Head of the church, its Savior. Thus, "as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
This submission expresses itself practically as respect in verse 33. The word *phobeō* implies reverence, the same attitude believers have toward God (1 Peter 2:17) or Christ (Ephesians 5:21). In marriage, it means honoring the husband as leader, valuing his role even amid imperfections.
Paul's summary in verse 33 balances duties: husbands love as self, wives respect. Why emphasize respect for wives? Men often crave respect as their primary need, just as women desire love. When wives withhold respect, husbands feel demoralized; when husbands withhold love, wives feel insecure. God's wisdom addresses these vulnerabilities directly.
This framework counters cultural extremes—neither patriarchal dominance nor egalitarian erasure of roles. Submission and respect thrive under sacrificial husbandly love, creating a cycle of blessing.
Theological Significance: Marriage as a Gospel Portrait
Paul calls the husband-wife union a "profound mystery" referring to Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32). Marriage is no mere social contract but a living illustration of redemption.
The church, Christ's bride, was unworthy yet redeemed through His sacrifice. She responds with joyful submission and reverence, trusting His headship for her good. Similarly, wives' respect portrays the church's proper response to Christ's loving leadership.
Headship is not tyranny but servant-authority, as Christ washed feet and died for His bride. When husbands love sacrificially, wives' submission and respect become natural and joyful. Conversely, respectful submission encourages husbands to love more deeply.
Theologically, this counters sin's distortion of roles (Genesis 3:16)—domination and contentiousness. In Christ, roles are redeemed: authority serves, submission honors.
Respect also flows from fearing God more than man. Wives respect husbands "as unto the Lord," obeying God even when husbands falter (as in 1 Peter 3:1-6, where unbelieving husbands are won by respectful conduct).
Ultimately, perfect respect awaits the consummation, when the church-bride is presented radiant to Christ. Earthly marriages rehearse this, pointing to eternal union.
Practical Expressions: How Wives Can Show Respect
Respect is not mere feeling but deliberate action. Here are key ways wives embody Ephesians 5:33:
First, honor him verbally. Speak positively about him to others and directly. Avoid criticism, sarcasm, or public correction. Praise strengths genuinely—his provision, wisdom, character. Proverbs 31:23 notes the virtuous wife's husband is respected in the gates partly because of her support.
Second, value his leadership. Seek his input on decisions, defer graciously when differing. This does not mean blind obedience—especially in sin (Acts 5:29)—but trusting his guidance in non-moral matters. Support visions for family, career, ministry.
Third, affirm his role physically and emotionally. Respond to intimacy willingly, recognizing authority in the body (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). Listen attentively, validate feelings. Small acts—like preparing favorite meals or expressing gratitude—communicate cherishing.
Fourth, pray for and with him. Intercede for growth, wisdom, protection. Joint prayer fosters unity and reverence.
Fifth, forgive quickly and extend grace. Sin mars every husband; respect chooses forgiveness, mirroring God's grace.
Sixth, cultivate inner reverence. Guard thoughts against contempt. Meditate on Scripture portraying godly manhood. When struggling, remember respect obeys God, inviting His blessing.
In challenging marriages—where husbands fail—respect becomes powerful witness (1 Peter 3:1). It is not enabling sin but trusting God's sovereignty to work through obedience.
Challenges and Empowerments for Wives
Many wives struggle: "How can I respect when he doesn't deserve it?" Culture says respect must be earned; Bible says offer it in faith, as unto Christ.
Common barriers: past hurts, unmet expectations, comparison to ideals. Feminism sometimes portrays submission as weakness, yet biblical respect empowers through strength in Christ.
Overcome by Spirit-filling (Ephesians 5:18)—His power enables unnatural obedience. Accountability, counseling, mature mentors help.
Encouragement: Respect transforms marriages. As wives respect, husbands often rise, loving more sacrificially. Homes become peaceful, children secure, witnessing gospel.
Single women: Prepare by respecting godly men (fathers, leaders), cultivating submissive heart toward Christ.
All wives: Grace covers failures. Christ's perfect submission to the Father models ours.
Conclusion
Ephesians 5:33 encapsulates God's vision: husbands loving as self, wives respecting reverentially. This respect—rooted in submission, expressed in honor—elevates marriage to gospel proclamation.
Wives embracing this find freedom in God's order, joy in partnership, strength in obedience. Though challenging, Spirit-enabled respect yields radiant unions, godly legacies, eternal reward.
May every wife heed this call, drawing from Christ's worthiness. As we respect husbands, marriages thrive, families flourish, Christ exalted. To Him be glory in our homes forever.
Post a Comment